IVF or adopt

Discussion in 'Adoption and Infertility' started by Samantha B., Oct 10, 2016.

  1.  
    Samantha B.

    Samantha B. New Member

    Im 27, ttc for 7 years. My situation is that my cousin is pregnant and asked my husband and I to adopt her baby. My husband and I haven't tried IVF yet and because they are both expensive, I don't know what to do. If I adopt, the chances of us being able to afford IVF in the near future are slim. But IVF is not guarenteed. So should I take the chance with IVF or adopt to ensure I do have a baby?
  2.  
    Agnete

    Agnete Member

    hi, what's your diagnosis? why can't you get pregnant? have you visited fertility specialist?
    and your cousin, if you don't agree will she do abortion? or put the baby for adoption after delivery?
  3.  
    littlemouse

    littlemouse Member

    Hi, how are you doing now? What have you decided for yourself? I see you haven't write for a long time?
    Yes, and I agreed with Agnete what is your diagnosis?
    to my mind, if I were you I would try ivf, what if it reach success and and you will have your full-blooded baby, of course I don't know all situation in your family. I know one clinic where is good prices. it's in europe. if you want i can tell you more about it. In any case, if your ivf doesn't work you can adopt your sister's child.
    I think she is intersted in this too.
    wish you good luck and
  4.  
    Kim79

    Kim79 Member

    I hope you and your sister found the way and took correct decision. drop a line to know everything's fine xxx
  5.  
    ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    IVF is better. Adoption will take a lot of time and money. And if you do IVF you'll be sure in your baby and noone could take him away from you. Adoption has lots of pitfalls. So you should think about it.
  6.  
    Kim79

    Kim79 Member

    ladybird345, I think it's groundless to say "ivf is better", same as "adoption is better". maybe for you it IS better, but we all have our own stories, our own life ways and our own reasons to make a choice. both ivf and adoption are quite bendy way of parenting: money and time consuming, risky, no guarantees. I wish adoption had less restrictions and it would be easier and quicker for IPs to adopt a child if they really want to (no one says they are infertile and cannot have children naturally). Thus there would be less children in need. In the meantime, I wish there were less people in need of fertility treatment. I had to pass through all that (surrogacy) and i how costly it is. I wish I could spend that money on those who need it if only I could conceive naturally. but this is the reality. sometimes life decides for us. we just have to be obedient to circumstances and move forward
  7.  
    ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    Different people different thoughts. If the adoption is easier why other people don't want to adopt children. Of course, they want to adopt little babies but any teenagers. Big children big problems, don't you think?
    What if she adopts a baby and then will come a relative who wants to take the custody of this baby? What will she do in this case? She won't have any rights.
    Your choice was surrogacy, so let's she decide what she wants with the help of other people's opinions.
  8.  
    Kim79

    Kim79 Member

    not all people are opting to adopt and infant. a lot of people, but not all. children of any age can be adopted and are adopted.
    in any case, you're right - we all are different
    what is good for me might be bad for you, and vise versa.
    surrogacy is also a roller coaster, both emotional, financial and psychological. it was a bit more comprehensible for us, because we had guarantees of having a baby no matter how long we would try, and also we could know the final cost of the program right from its start so it was easier for us to manage our finance
  9.  
    ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    I don't deny it. It all depends on people. Someone wants to adopt other to undergo ivf.
    My opinion is clear, I'm for ivf. probably it's all because i have infertility problems and we didn't want to adopt children. Our goal is to have genetically related to us baby. So we are going to visit one clinic which can provide us with this.
    Sorry if my words seem to be offensive. I wanted to express myself and give Samantha the the chance to choose.
  10.  
    Mydreammore

    Mydreammore Member

    Hi! Rather bitter question. I can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s an act of mercy from your sister. Or did it sound as a kind of ultimatum? And what will occur in case you refuse an adoption? How soon do you have to make a decision? it's disturbing.

    I’ve never been against the adoption, this is goodness and humanism, but this process has its difficulties and challenges. I would advise you to resolve all issues with cousin and to try IVF. But of course for this you must be completely examined to know what the reproductive method is appropriate for you and what fertility problems your couple has. We are waiting for a response from you. You’ve not visited this thread long ago. I hope your questions had found responses in real You are OK and have just forgot about this post.
  11.  
    wilemmson

    wilemmson Member

    I'm afraid this question couldn't be decided this way. There are to many things depending on your personal feelings, attitudes and preferences. As for me, it's like to choose between apples and pizza. What is crucial for you? To carry a baby? To deliver? To have absolute genetic connection to a baby? or to be a mother in general? Do 'when' and 'how much' important? Every option has different target audience, if it's possible to say so. It would be better if you specified your problem.
  12.  
    Agnete

    Agnete Member

    all ways that lead to parenting are good. you just need to choose what you feel like. I agree with previous poster. answer all these questions to yourself and it will give you some clues to taking right decision. also, haven't you thought of pursuing these two opportunities in the meantime, or at a row?
  13.  
    xeniamo

    xeniamo Member

    I would also opt for ivf as it's more affordable. You might undergo ivf in Czech Rep (Zlin, Prague) or Poland (Gdansk), and you would pay about 2 500 Euros for top notch procedures.

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