“We tried to hide it, but our Christmas gift is starting to show…”
“We’re adding a new player to our line up…”
“We’re adding a pumpkin to our patch…”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, cupid’s been busy because… a baby is due!”
“We’re growing…by two feet!”
Most of the time, dreaming up an exciting way to reveal a pregnancy can be one of the joys about a pregnancy. However, the question of timing can present a bit of a conundrum. When should you tell people your news? Should you shout it out to the world the second you see those two little pink lines? Or should you try to hide it for the next three months until your chance of a miscarriage decreases?
Perhaps you aren’t ready to share your super cute announcement as soon you see the plus sign, but there are reasons to tell people that you are pregnant before those first three months are up.
Reason 1 – Proper pre-natal care. It is important to make an appointment with your primary care physician as soon as you believe to be pregnant, so that you can make sure that you are taking proper care of yourself and your baby. You can find out from the doctor if there are lifestyle changes that you need to make. You may also experience morning sickness, and if it is severe enough, help from your physician may be needed.
Reason 2 – Appointment support. Suddenly you have many appointments and questions coming your way, and it can be slightly nerve-wracking to go it alone. Telling your husband, partner, bestie, or someone you can count on, to go to your appointments with you can ease a lot of those appointment anxieties.
Reason 3 – Morning Sickness. Some women experience a little morning sickness, while others experience a lot of morning sickness, and it can last all through the day. If you are throwing up a lot, or need to snack more often, you may want to let some trusted people around you know. You may need someone to cover for you if you are running to the washroom, or constantly eating crackers.
Reason 4 – Emotional support. Your body is going through a lot of changes. Telling your mom (she may understand some of those changes) or other good women friends (who will also understand those changes and have been there before) is helpful because they can be your emotional support during the first three months. If you should have a miscarriage, these women can support and grieve with you. Grieving alone is not healthy. Chances are, at least some, if not all of these women have had a miscarriage as well, since sadly, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage (according to March of Dimes). When a miscarriage happens you need support. Other women who’ve been through a miscarriage can be a great source of comfort and support.
Reason 5 – Peace. If you have a trusted pastor, religious advisor, minister, good friend or family member that is willing to pray for you and your baby as you start your pregnancy, it can be a great source of peace for you. Sometimes knowing that no matter what happens, someone is praying for you, can bring a calming sense of peace over what can be a stressful or anxious time.
In my opinion, it’s very important to tell at least enough people to have these five reasons covered. I remember crying alone in a bathroom at our church after my miscarriage and feeling very alone …when there was an entire church full of women who had been where I was–not to mention women in my family and many of my friends. Had I shared a little more openly about my loss, a wealth of support and help would have come my way. I know this because when our daughter was stillborn a year later, we had an out pouring of love, support, and care from our family, friends, and church. I couldn’t hide a stillbirth, and I’m so very glad that I couldn’t.
In some ways our stillbirth was easier to grieve through than our miscarriage because I had support and people I could talk to and grieve with, and to this day I can still talk openly to them about that little daughter. I would encourage you beautiful ladies in your first trimester, tell people you trust about your pregnancy. It will be well worth it either way.