IVF or adopt

Discussion in 'Adoption and Infertility' started by Samantha B., Oct 10, 2016.

  1. Samantha B.

    Samantha B. New Member

    Im 27, ttc for 7 years. My situation is that my cousin is pregnant and asked my husband and I to adopt her baby. My husband and I haven't tried IVF yet and because they are both expensive, I don't know what to do. If I adopt, the chances of us being able to afford IVF in the near future are slim. But IVF is not guarenteed. So should I take the chance with IVF or adopt to ensure I do have a baby?
  2. Agnete

    Agnete Member

    hi, what's your diagnosis? why can't you get pregnant? have you visited fertility specialist?
    and your cousin, if you don't agree will she do abortion? or put the baby for adoption after delivery?
  3. littlemouse

    littlemouse Member

    Hi, how are you doing now? What have you decided for yourself? I see you haven't write for a long time?
    Yes, and I agreed with Agnete what is your diagnosis?
    to my mind, if I were you I would try ivf, what if it reach success and and you will have your full-blooded baby, of course I don't know all situation in your family. I know one clinic where is good prices. it's in europe. if you want i can tell you more about it. In any case, if your ivf doesn't work you can adopt your sister's child.
    I think she is intersted in this too.
    wish you good luck and
  4. Kim79

    Kim79 Member

    I hope you and your sister found the way and took correct decision. drop a line to know everything's fine xxx
  5. ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    IVF is better. Adoption will take a lot of time and money. And if you do IVF you'll be sure in your baby and noone could take him away from you. Adoption has lots of pitfalls. So you should think about it.
  6. Kim79

    Kim79 Member

    ladybird345, I think it's groundless to say "ivf is better", same as "adoption is better". maybe for you it IS better, but we all have our own stories, our own life ways and our own reasons to make a choice. both ivf and adoption are quite bendy way of parenting: money and time consuming, risky, no guarantees. I wish adoption had less restrictions and it would be easier and quicker for IPs to adopt a child if they really want to (no one says they are infertile and cannot have children naturally). Thus there would be less children in need. In the meantime, I wish there were less people in need of fertility treatment. I had to pass through all that (surrogacy) and i how costly it is. I wish I could spend that money on those who need it if only I could conceive naturally. but this is the reality. sometimes life decides for us. we just have to be obedient to circumstances and move forward
  7. ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    Different people different thoughts. If the adoption is easier why other people don't want to adopt children. Of course, they want to adopt little babies but any teenagers. Big children big problems, don't you think?
    What if she adopts a baby and then will come a relative who wants to take the custody of this baby? What will she do in this case? She won't have any rights.
    Your choice was surrogacy, so let's she decide what she wants with the help of other people's opinions.
  8. Kim79

    Kim79 Member

    not all people are opting to adopt and infant. a lot of people, but not all. children of any age can be adopted and are adopted.
    in any case, you're right - we all are different
    what is good for me might be bad for you, and vise versa.
    surrogacy is also a roller coaster, both emotional, financial and psychological. it was a bit more comprehensible for us, because we had guarantees of having a baby no matter how long we would try, and also we could know the final cost of the program right from its start so it was easier for us to manage our finance
  9. ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    I don't deny it. It all depends on people. Someone wants to adopt other to undergo ivf.
    My opinion is clear, I'm for ivf. probably it's all because i have infertility problems and we didn't want to adopt children. Our goal is to have genetically related to us baby. So we are going to visit one clinic which can provide us with this.
    Sorry if my words seem to be offensive. I wanted to express myself and give Samantha the the chance to choose.
  10. Mydreammore

    Mydreammore Member

    Hi! Rather bitter question. I can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s an act of mercy from your sister. Or did it sound as a kind of ultimatum? And what will occur in case you refuse an adoption? How soon do you have to make a decision? it's disturbing.

    I’ve never been against the adoption, this is goodness and humanism, but this process has its difficulties and challenges. I would advise you to resolve all issues with cousin and to try IVF. But of course for this you must be completely examined to know what the reproductive method is appropriate for you and what fertility problems your couple has. We are waiting for a response from you. You’ve not visited this thread long ago. I hope your questions had found responses in real You are OK and have just forgot about this post.
  11. wilemmson

    wilemmson Member

    I'm afraid this question couldn't be decided this way. There are to many things depending on your personal feelings, attitudes and preferences. As for me, it's like to choose between apples and pizza. What is crucial for you? To carry a baby? To deliver? To have absolute genetic connection to a baby? or to be a mother in general? Do 'when' and 'how much' important? Every option has different target audience, if it's possible to say so. It would be better if you specified your problem.
  12. Agnete

    Agnete Member

    all ways that lead to parenting are good. you just need to choose what you feel like. I agree with previous poster. answer all these questions to yourself and it will give you some clues to taking right decision. also, haven't you thought of pursuing these two opportunities in the meantime, or at a row?
  13. xeniamo

    xeniamo Member

    I would also opt for ivf as it's more affordable. You might undergo ivf in Czech Rep (Zlin, Prague) or Poland (Gdansk), and you would pay about 2 500 Euros for top notch procedures.
  14. minerva71

    minerva71 New Member

    hi xeniamo. 2,5k is a good price but I'm curious what is included in it? Most clinics in europe have higher cost for IVF especially if it's with donor eggs. Do they perform ICSI or one should pay for it separately? And what about transfer and accommodation? If you are not from Czech or Poland then you need to stay somewhere and it's very conveniaent when such things are provided by clinic.
  15. ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    oh, I just noticed your reply here.
    You asked a nice question. I was also curious what are included in package with such price because my clinic gave me everything what is needed. I mean we got an apartment, transportation and meals as well.
    Probably @xeniamo found a good place for her, cause 2.5k is nice. I wish her journey there will end with positive result.

    please keep up updated
  16. cindyleyva

    cindyleyva Member

    Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::

    1. Fibroid, Asthma, All STD, sinus infection, unexplain miscarriage

    2.High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)

    3. Infection, regular body pains (yeast infection),urine tract infection.

    4. Blockage from the fallopian Tube, Hepatitis

    5. Cyst from the ovaries, PCOS

    6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching

    7. Irregular menstruation

    8. Weakness of the penis (not able to have sex with your partner or inability to satisfy your partner sexually)

    9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.

    10. Infertility for easy Conception.......

    11. Skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..

    Simply contact the spiritualist DrEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
  17. Gwineth

    Gwineth Member

    often clinics in Europe (in Spain or Czech) offer really cheap programs but they do not tell you that this is not the price for all of the procedures, meds etc. but only a start sum you need to pay to begin your treatment, in the end, you'll end up paying more than 10k (adding hotels, taxis, meds!)
    I think that it is stupid thinking that your 1 ivf att will be 2500 euros.
  18. ladybird345

    ladybird345 Member

    Why stupid? Actually it would be 2 500 euros but without extra payments as you said.
    Thanks God, we didn't have to pay any extra money for the meds and consultations. My clinic gave me a chance to save my money haha. We had free initial consultation, an interpreter as we went to country where not all people know English. Their native language is a bit different but we were ok with that. We were leaded by a manager thought the program.
    Gwineth, probably @xeniamo decided to go there as she didn't write any
  19. xeniamo

    xeniamo Member

    Spain and Greece are more expensive, although are very popular destinations. Czech and Poland are the cheapest countries (I have no knowledge about Russia and Ukraine) to undergo IVF treatment. From what I know IVF that costs EUR2,500 also includes meds. Hotels and transport are also really cheap. If someone needs more info, it's better to mail a clinic/clinics directly for more info or visit their websites, as top clinics have their prices on their webpages.
  20. calisy

    calisy New Member

    This is such a dilemma. I am also torn between which one can help. But since you have been trying to get pregnant for the 7 years chances seem slim for you. But if you want to keep on trying it is okay. But again, you have said that the finances hinder you. I think you could adopt your cousins kids. I hope n the future she will not come back asking fir her child. Because that is the one reason many people do. But she is a family already. So expect the child to later love her mother more than you two. You can expect anything in that situation. But for the time being I think you can adopt the child. Then when later you are financially stable you can go for the procedure. One good thing about IVF you can even do it in your 40. Just make sure you have saved enough. then to avoid losing your money on failed attempts go for a good clinic. Like bio tex in Kiev. They have a long history dealing with IVF. They have actually specialized in fertility treatment. This is to increase the rate of success in your first trial.

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