IVF or surrogacy?

Discussion in 'In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)' started by Petricker, Nov 16, 2016.

  1. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    Hello from a first time poster.
    I’m 46-year-old-woman who underwent three fresh IVF cycles with OE and DE but the results are still negative. My chances are really miserable as I’ve never seen BFP. All hopes for bearing my own children are destroyed. My DH supports me and believes we will raise a wonderful kid of ours but I can’t hope it would be like that. The only thing I want is another 2WW with BFP. I can’t have more failures and I feel like I’m totally useless.

    I heard it’s possible to move to surrogacy, but girls, is it alright to know that your child was born not by you? I mean, are there any differences in your own attitude towards a child? Of course, you love your child even if he is adopted but still he’s half-yours only…It sounds like a nightmare! Maybe should I try IVF again? Maybe it’s possible to have more eggs fertilized or a frozen cycle could be of better use for me? Share your experience, please. I need it.
    utkarsh bansode likes this.
  2. SamanthaSun

    SamanthaSun Member

    Hi, dear! I'm sorry you've found yourself here.
    I'm 40 yo. Dx - PCOS, blocked fallopian tubes. TTC starting October 2014.
    I was told 5% after our last cycle failed only getting 1 egg out of me. Then we were going donor that gave us 75%. But I have heard stories where bad responders and low egg reserve people it has worked! It only takes 1 as they say.
    If we had the money we might have tried again with my eggs but we figured we just wanted to be parents one way or another and that gave us the best chance. Soon we found eviternity.org, had our 1st free consultation in London. In a while we booked the guaranteed program. In case of 5 failures they refund money paid. It was luck for us to have our money safe whatever the outcome would be. We had 2 shots with de. Shot#1 was a failure, but the next one brought us BFP. (We transferred 2 5-day blast fresh each time). I'm not sure I can advice - this is so extremely individual. But if it's not money matter I'd try ivf. In our clinic for ex. they have no age limits - only the health ones. And you ARE as young as you feel inside! Move on, brave lady and let us know about the things in the run. Loads of hugs for you! ;)
  3. Bunintheoven

    Bunintheoven New Member

    Hello.
    I'm sorry you had to go though all of that and of course it's a beautiful thing to be able to have your own child.... I honestly want to recommend this amazing clinic in Lviv, Ukraine.... it's called intersono-ivf and our family friends who couldn't afford surrogacy in Toronto decided to take their chances there. Now they have a little one on their hands and they couldn't be happier :) i hear amazing feedback from them about the clinic and the city itself just had a magical atmosphere . I hope this answer helps you :)
  4. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    Thank you for your kind words! It's amazing that I've already signed a contract with Ukrainian clinic, not that one you're talking about but still the same country. i'm happy about your friends' success, it's great! I googled Lviv though, you're right it's really nice city..it looks like Prague a little. I read about the clinic, well it's not that bad but I've got better conditions in a Kiev clinic Biotexcom.
    Mydreammore and Gwineth like this.
  5. Gwineth

    Gwineth Member

    i see nothing wrong with it. even if you are not the one whose eggs are used for the surrogacy.
    as I am carrying a child conceived by donor's eggs and my hubby's sperm. Basically I have no biological connection to this little emby inside of me but that does not stop me from loving it and thinking about this small baby as of my own. we live in the new world and I think that there is nothing strange with surrogacy or something. with women helping you to have a baby, to have a family.
    I am sure that you won't see any difference when you see your newborn for the first time, I am sure that right from the first second you will consider him or her as your own flesh and blood
    Petricker likes this.
  6. Gwineth

    Gwineth Member

    Sorry but you were to Biotex clinic?
  7. Mydreammore

    Mydreammore Member

    Is this clinic as so good as they say about it? I have read a few negative reviews about this place. More precisely they have not enough space so people are crowding in the corridors, it's really stressful condition which represents a threat for future moms. Although I could be wrong. Sometimes the presence of a long queue tells regarding the popularity of the institution. I'm not afraid to feel the bad-quality service if my baby will be all right and healthy. Most of people remained satisfied. And I would like to be one of them.
  8. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    Yes, now I totally agree with you! You won't believe but 5 min ago I've read an article devoted to an attitude toward a baby inside you if he/she is the result of donor egg fertilization. I haven't even close the page yet, here is the link https://biotexcomweb.wordpress.com/2017/01/19/how-an-egg-donor-pregnancy-can-feel-like-your-own/. You can't imagine how much I want to feel a heartbeat of a little beautiful creature inside me...I'm so scared now that something may go wrong. Not sure I could ever rehabilitate after this, not talking about another try. My previous attempts were a bit different don't know how to explain but i wasn't so anxious and obsessed with the result. Now I have to wait 2 more weeks, how on earth should i survive before ET?
  9. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    I'm sure there are more than just a few negatives, it's hard to satisfy everyone...i witnessed a funny moment not so long ago, a young woman came to mcdonalds and asked if they have any burger without meat and cheese, i think you know what the answer was. anyways, she turned back screaming it's unfair and almost illegal. well, i mean to say that we all have different criteria to anticipate anything. My opinion is only mine and it's like the clinic is GOOD. there are pros and cons but the thing is that it gives a result. at least i hope it will give in my case. I can't tell you to leave everything and travel there for tx but I can state it's a good choice for a good price. If this round is going to be successful then I will tell you all that ot's the best clinic ever hahaha
  10. almaek

    almaek Member

    you are right. someone can't stand waiting in queques and that makes his think bad about service, another doesn't see sing plate and etc. people what is going on? if you came to that clinic this means you want to. and it's just your desire and opinions. so be pleasant and don't make any troubles for other.
    keep please your bad commets to yourselves. my clinic aslo was good and I always advise this place.
    Sorry if I hurt someones feeelings.
  11. Gwineth

    Gwineth Member

    Is that some kind of a blog of biotexcom? hm... interesting, they have a lot of different articles over there. haha
    I can imagine that! even though my first pregnancy went really smooth and fine. but the second time when I wanted to get pregnant I remember some kind of a panic I have been experiencing before we have found the right option.
    haha
    how was it hun? your ET?
    I suppose it went fine? Because it is not a surgery and you don’t have to be sedated and as far as I remember my own emotions and feeling when I was undergoing ET, I felt just as fine as always except for the nervousness.
  12. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    Right you are! Every time you need to make a difficult or important decision it's better to think few times more and to consider all pros and cons. It's a pity that some people are so trustful and ready to make their decisions blindly after reading reviews based on personal emotions or subjective feelings. I know people who can't decide anything on their own. I wouldn't like to trust their experience, really...
    well, in 3 days I will know what was meant for me. I hope i could keep my promise.
  13. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    It's one of their blogs, as far as i can see.
    Maybe it's easier to go through something if you don't know what is waiting for you? My first IVF was like an ordinary procedure and I was nervous a bit and that's all. The next attempts were more challenging...maybe the reason is failed cycles. And this cycle was the most hard to me...I hope it's the last one and if it's not then no, thank you.
    My ET was pretty smooth, no pain or other things. I have no signs of pregnancy though and it scares me. Anyways, I have great mood and can't remember when I was so happy before. It's weir, I believe...my beta is this Friday. i don't to test earlier than it's needed..Not much time has left.
  14. almaek

    almaek Member

    my congrats, soon you'll know the results. Sorry you failed your cycles, I understand the feelings you had. But you are stong and positive about your future test. I'ts so important right now, btw, where are you know? at home or at clinic?
    I wish you all the best, and one more, probably you are so excited about everythng that's why you don't feel like you are pregnant.
    xxx and big hugs for you
  15. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    Oh yeah, 2 days only...I've already bought tests haha. Oh, that's ok, my failed cycles were so long ago...I'm not losing hope after all. my mood is gorgeous, I'm excited and happy. I think my DH thinks I'm crazy, but I see the way he looks at me and he definitely likes "new me". I'm 85% sure I will get BFP even if I test tonight. I'm at home...Thank you sweetheart! wish you luck ;)
  16. Dee.R

    Dee.R Member

    I wish you good luck! I hope to see good news from you soon! You have a very great mood. This is very important in our situation. I'm so sorry about your failed cycles. Many of us here went through infertility struggle. It's very important not to lose hope and believe in the best! I hope your test will be positive. So you will break this vicious cycle of struggle and you'll start to get ready to be a happy mommy) Good luck dear!
  17. almaek

    almaek Member

    happy to hear that you are at home and in good mood. How are you today? Did you do your test? What it showed? Are you pregnant?
  18. Petricker

    Petricker Member

    Thank you honey!!! You're right, positive thinking and great mood are extremely important! I've got my BFP!!!! And I can't stop feeling happy and it saceres me a bit haha. Now all my failed cycles it's my past and it's not painful to remind it, not anymore. Thank you once again. Hope you're doing well! x
  19. Mydreammore

    Mydreammore Member

    Now I understand you better. When I was whimsical I was looking around and turning back to the normality. I tried thinking as an adult so what kind of the claims we may have! My aim and reason I’m here is my the most urgent desire to be finally a mom. And all distractions were fading away. I have coped with my miscarriages, my psychological issues and why now I have to feel a discomfort during procedures in case they all lead me to my favorite goal. Maybe it’s not almost what you had spoken about and I’m talking of important things of mine, but it’s my view.
  20. Gwineth

    Gwineth Member

    how are you now? there should be already a result? so! are you pregnant? haven't seen your message earlier so could not comfort you at all. but it was an early stage after your ET so it should've been ok to not have preggy symptoms.
    but how are you now?

Share This Page