what's the meanest thing somebody's said to you

Discussion in 'Raging Hormones' started by fuzzykitten, Apr 17, 2009.

  1. Guest

    A friend of mine (well, I don't really talk to her anymore) made a comment that if she and her hubby start a baby making business, they will for sure make millions. She has two kinds and knows that I am going through infertility.
    The last time I saw her, the first thing that came out of her mouth was "I'm pregnant"! . I later found our that she was just joking. Weird. I'm sure she wanted to see my reaction.
  2. MtkRen

    MtkRen New Member

    Although it is not necessarily mean, I am tired of my mother and sisters always saying "you need the practice" as a way to get me to change their baby's diapers. It is incredibly irritating.

    And just like everyone else, we have been told to "relax" and that "our time will come"--without medical intervention which is SO upsetting given that my husband has azoospermia.

    It is becoming more and more upsetting to me with the passing of time. I have someone in my family who got pregnant "without even trying" and stated "it wasn't even the right timing but I guess I'm just really fertile" and she is unable to care for her child because of addiction and financial issues. That is a tough thing to deal with for us, especially when we get caught up in their drama.
  3. Kimmer

    Kimmer New Member

    When I found out that I was not going to be able to conceive without help (IUI and eventually IVF), my MIL's response was 'Wow...too bad you didn't know when you were younger, you could have saved a fortune on birth control'!!! Really? That's what you think I care about???

    I've also had a work colleague tell me that this is God's way of punishing me for not going to church (I am not religious). She also filed a complaint with HR for the amount of time I have been late to work (even though we don't even work in the same department).
  4. Guest

    What exactly is a People can be so inconsiderate! Has been a lot of my favorite: It's a m/c would not want to have a baby that is b/c the problems were a good thing. That's why m/c had in the first place. I didn't say excuse me, maybe the 4 days after my first work We m/c was said by friends to me this is a time you had. One of the still stings and almost 10 months now. Some people simply should not be open their mouthes.
  5. jmfong76

    jmfong76 New Member

    Something I was recently told by another woman on one of the other boards

    So, just to set the scene for you: I went into early menopause and we need to use a donor as I have no more eggs. I have previously done 2 failed ivfs myself, however as I was diminished ovarian reserve at that point, they didnt work. My husband and I just had our cycle and had our transfer this week. We have to pay out of pocket as our insurance does not cover infertility and we paid 25k for the donor ivf. We chose the donor we did because we hoped for more than one child and know very close friends who also have been trying to become pregnant and depending on how many embryos made it, we planned to share some with them. Our donor on the same medication protocol she was on with our cycle had previously produced 30+ eggs. Now mind you, this is a 23 yo fertile and healthy female with two ovaries. This is a normal response to a normal ivf. As luck would have it, she only produced 8 eggs for our cycle. Yep, thats right........8!! So initially we were discouraged. So I created a new thread to see what other people thought.....................

    And this is what I got from someone:

    "It only sounds a little low to me actually. A "regular" dose of meds for a 23yo would be a lot less than a 35yo. The fact that she had a 100% fert rate indicates that it was a good protocol for her eggs. Have you considered that maybe she didn't want to go through the pain of 30-40 eggs again, it's inhumane. I would caution you not to stress or overreact as 1. it's a good number of eggs and fertilized embryos and 2. step back, look at the bigger picture and think positively."

    Now I am not sure what you guys think, but my husband and I have been ttc for 4 1/2 years. We had been waiting for 2 years for embryo donation but to no avail. As luck would have it, out of the 8 eggs, all but 3 were bad....meaning they stopped growing and were fragmented severely. I know what it is like going through an ivf as I have gone through it myself. I wouldnt consider asking someone else to do this if I had not done it myself. This woman volunteered to be a donor, was compensated for it and had previously done so before and never had any issues with ohss. I dont know about you ladies but I take offense to the fact that she suggested that it would be inhumane for me to suggest she should have produced 30+ like she had before...........I simply was thinking she had donated twice before with my clinic and those were her results prior and to all of a sudden produce 8.........wow 8 for a 23 yo is very low, considering they saw 10+ antral follicles on each ovary prior to stims start.........I dont know, what do you think? Am I inhumane? Shame on me I guess.
  6. WrightStepher

    WrightStepher New Member

    You can't fix stupid.

    Just this past weekend after a friends baby shower, from another 'friend' I got . . .

    "Wouldn't it be funny if you got pregnant now? Now that you're on all these drugs and spent all this money."

    Yes, oh yes. That would be just effen hilarous. If I, the lady with 100% tubal blockage, got pregnant while on lupron. :grr:

    And the all too famous . . .
    "Gosh, all I have to do is share a bar of soap with my husband and I get pregnant."

    Well, GOOD. FOR. YOU.
  7. Colorjunkie

    Colorjunkie New Member

    Crazy in laws!!

    My husbands neice ( I guess would be my neice) found out she was having twins naturally. She is the same age as me. We were sitting outside and she looked over at me and said you want one of them and then started laughing. I wanted to slap her, but I just walked away. She knows the trouble I've been having, and still opens her big mouth. It's so shocking how people can be so mean. I've heard a lot of when you stop trying, that's when it's gonna happen. Or have you ever thought of trying naturally with vitamins. All the drugs your using is keeping you from getting pg. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  8. lin3th3

    lin3th3 New Member

    some ppl are just plain stupid

    I married the love of my life 1 year ago and he adopted my 2 kids who he loves SO much, he was married before and never had kids. I really wanted to give him a baby not just because i love him but because his the only bio son, he had a 11yo sister who passed away, and my MI lost twins at 6 months and never was able to get pregnant again. so they adopted a boy who passed away at 1yo, they adopted another girl whos mom left her in a convent 25 years ago. She has now grown into a horrible monster, she has told me that she hates my husband because he thinks his better then her, she doesnt work or go to school she lives of her adopted parents who she treats really bad, she has told several ppl that she hates them. But shes a hipocrat infront of them.

    she told my MI why are they even trying to have kids, i am sure the problem is my brother because she already had 2 kids, but sure now you guys want a grandchild that carries your DNA

    Shes so cruel, when she found out i was pregnant she got sooo mad she cried.
    i stay way from her bad vibes
  9. socialite_baby

    socialite_baby New Member

    A group of fellow TTCers on another board attacked me the day I had my lap. I found out when I got home and was recovering... They said they I didn't deserve to be a mother because I would be terrible at it and I was being punished. Sadly they were all infertile at the time and knew how I felt.
  10. Perseverance

    Perseverance New Member

    I posted this on a couple other threads, but it still blows my mind. I have heard all the comments from friends and family, but the most bizarre was from a nurse at a ob clinic. We moved and I called to make an appointment with the only "fertility specialist" in the town. I was told that I couldn't be seen for months. I asked why the long wait and the nurse said (I had been referred to the nurse because I had questions) "he only sees infertility patients once a month" I said "why does it matter why I want to see him" and she said, "we have actual pregnant people to see"! I was shocked, and hurt. Really, you are going to say this to a women who is having trouble conceiving. How about some sensitivity training here.

    I called and made a formal compliant. I have since traveled 120 miles to the nearest town to seek treatment. I have never gotten a response.
  11. csangelbaby

    csangelbaby New Member

    I know this response is a little late but, WOW THAT'S CRAZY!! How rude of her!!!

    I have not had too many stupid comments yet but not that many people know yet and I would prefer it that way at least right now. They just wouldn't understand even if they tried.

  12. waitingmommyof4

    waitingmommyof4 New Member

    Here are the comments I have got-

    1. Stop being such a cry baby, you HAVE kids.
    2. Why are you being so selfish, love the ones you do have.
    3. I have a friend that has IF issues too and when we were talking she looked at me and said, you will never understand you have 4 kids so don't cry to me about the pain of IF.
    4.Why would you want to start all over, are you crazy?
    5. Why use donor sperm, your husband will never be a father and you have kids, God must think you have enough.
    6. Do you think your cool now that you are having trouble getting pregnant? Get over it!!!
    7. My god how selfish can you be to think you are in the same boat and posting comments on a forum with woman trying for their first...not the same as you my god you must really hurt them. ( when talking about all of the support I get here to my friend)
    8.My friend got pregnant with twins naturally and wanted the baby stuff that dh & I have been picking up and told me that it was selfish to not give it to her when dh & I will never have a child.

    That is just a small list of what people have said to me. I understand that I have kids but I was told that I would NEVER be a mom before I had my first child. I still want a child with my Dh even if it's not his bio because HE wants a few children to carry his last name. I also do feel bad that I post my pain on here but I do have IF problems so this is where I get my support. Nobody on this forum has ever been rude to me about the fact that I have kids. IF is hard on everyone, the pain is still very real for all of us and to me having kids doesn't make it any easier, knowing that my Dh is hurting as his pain is my pain. I could go on & on. He has had to pick me up off the bathroom floor when af came or I got a bfn. We now know the problem and are going to be using a donor to get our child. Good luck to all of you that pray for that family they long for!! Baby dust to everyone!!!
  13. Kat72

    Kat72 New Member

    You know- i HATE to say it but reading these awful posts is like a relief. I never knew that so many other people have total morons as family members. The one good thing some of you guys have is a DH that will stand up to his family when they step out of line. That is a great thing. My husband does not and it's very hard on our marriage along with the IF. What I have come to know is that people can be so selfish,insensitive and self centered that they forget simple manners and compassion.No use in trying to correct half of them as they see nothing wrong with the stupidity that comes out of their mouth.If they could just walk in our shoes for a while-- that would be something. Sorry for the rant but -sheesh- really? Are they that STUPID?:grr:
  14. emily.w

    emily.w Guest

    It is a very common reaction to us women to try all possible things that we hear which will somehow facilitate us in having successful conception. Well, I don’t have any stories to tell but I would say that it is not bad to try things that you believe is right. Just make sure it doesn’t affect your health and might worsen your present condition. Good luck ladies!:wings:
  15. BabiesAreCute

    BabiesAreCute New Member

    I heard this one from a friend a few days ago when I said I'm unsure what my next move will be if this FET fails: "You ought to try to get pregnant naturally." (Not a mean, but a dumb comment.)

    I told her we tried that for more than a year and it didn't work. What I felt like saying was, "Do you think I spent thousands on IVF, IUI & fertility drugs for kicks? Do you think I enjoy sticking needles in my stomach and butt?"
  16. waiting4alilone

    waiting4alilone New Member

    broke my heart

    The meanest thing was when my closest friend told me "i loved it when i was pregnant, it was best and weirdest feeling i've ever had. I can't wait to be pregnant again". This was after i told her i have to have surgery to check for endometriosis and i had to wait to try iui with the new medication now. :grr:

    CINNYMON1 New Member

    That is just weird :grr: The things people do!!!

    CINNYMON1 New Member

    How EVIL!!!! People really don't understand what it is like.

    CINNYMON1 New Member

    WOW!!! Reading your signature touched my heart. You have been through a lot and people just add insult to injury.

    CINNYMON1 New Member

    HAHAHAHA because everyone knows that ivf-kiddies are really made of plastic!:woohoo:

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