The journey of adoption is mentally exhausting. You plan for months or even years to bring home your new baby or child. You make sure everything is set up perfectly for their arrival, you get your paperwork in order, and you open your hearts and your home to caseworkers, among many others, just to make it all work out. Perhaps you had tried to have a biological child and it just didn’t happen yet, or you have children who are older now and were now looking into the path of adoption. Either way, you spent a lot of time, possibly money, and definitely love to bring about this adoption. There is no greater joy than when it finally comes to pass and everything is finalized.
Years ago, we had just begun the process of adoption with a kinship foster care placement of four siblings. For our family this very slow process was literally years in the making. With three biological kiddos of our own, we were soon to be a family of NINE, with a total of seven children. There was lots of planning and consideration on the part of my husband and I as we thought of how we could make this all work. And that’s when, much to our surprise, I started feeling a bit nauseous in the morning and a little more sleepy than usual. Two blue lines later it was official–we were going to be a family of TEN.
So what now? What happens when you find out your pregnant after you’ve adopted? Here is the truth. There is an initial panic, millions of questions, logistics of the new reality to contend with.
- Will you be able to love your children equally? Will you favor one or the other?
- Will you have enough time, enough resources, and enough money?
- How will you tell your friends and family? What will they think?
- How will their birth stories and welcome home stories be complicated by the timing of the new pregnancy?
- Why am I so excited, worried, scared, anxious, elated, or nervous? Is how I feel okay?
Let me reassure you. There is nothing more precious than a new baby, a pregnancy, or a growing family–in whatever way God makes that happen.
- You will find the time, the resources, and the money.
- You will love every one of your children endlessly and equally, though possibly for different reasons and attributes which are unique to just them.
- Your extended family will be blessed for every new addition and will be just as excited as you are.
- Your children possibly being close in age, or birthdate, or otherwise are all a part of God’s bigger plan, and the timing was intended to be just the way it is.
- Your emotions are normal–all of them. And you should be comfortable in expressing them and talking them out as they come.
Adoption is a blessing; pregnancy is a blessing. No matter when they happen. I think you will find you are doubly blessed for having experienced both.